Killing Our Dreams by Paulo Coehlo

The first symptom of the process of our killing our dreams is the lack of time. The busiest people I have known in my life always have time enough to do everything. Those who do nothing are always tired and pay no attention to the little amount of work they are required to do. They complain constantly that the day is too short. The truth is, they are afraid to fight the Good Fight.

The second symptom of the death of our dreams lies in our certainties. Because we don’t want to see life as a grand adventure, we begin to think of ourselves as wise and fair and correct in asking so little of life. We look beyond the walls of our day-to-day existence, and we hear the sound of lances breaking, we smell the dust and the sweat, and we see the great defeats and the fire in the eyes of the warriors. But we never see the delight, the immense delight in the hearts of those who are engaged in the battle. For them, neither victory nor defeat is important; what’s important is only that they are fighting the Good Fight.

And, finally, the third symptom of the passing of our dreams is peace. Life becomes a Sunday afternoon; we ask for nothing grand, and we cease to demand anything more than we are willing to give. In that state, we think of ourselves as being mature; we put aside the fantasies of our youth, and we seek personal and professional achievement. We are surprised when people our age say that they still want this or that out of life. But really, deep in our hearts, we know that what has happened is that we have renounced the battle for our dreams – we have refused to fight the Good Fight.

When we renounce our dreams and find peace, we go through a short period of tranquility. But the dead dreams begin to rot within us and to infect our entire being.

We become cruel to those around us, and then we begin to direct this cruelty against ourselves. That’s when illnesses and psychoses arise. What we sought to avoid in combat – disappointment and defeat – come upon us because of our cowardice.

And one day, the dead, spoiled dreams make it difficult to breathe, and we actually seek death. It’s death that frees us from our certainties, from our work, and from that terrible peace of our Sunday afternoons

Erykah Badu ft. Rick Ross- Window Seat (remix)

A Creative Control Project, and I find this to be pretty dope– the Rick Ross verse in the beginning and “Turn Me Away (Get Munny)” in the end. This premiered today at 3:33 PM which you would have seen if you follow Ms. Badu on twitter. I am however, tired of this song, but what I like that this version of this song captures as well as the initial video that caused a whole bunch of drama, and erections in men, while proving the concept of groupthink, is the fact that all of the videos seem just like, a candid video causing the audience to anticipate more. Not all videos need to have the aspect of posing in the camera, singing your song for pretend to the audience, and Ms. Badu realizes that.

Wiz Khalifa-"Never Been"

I'm pretty into Wiz Khalifa, and can't wait to see him at Rock The Bells.

Nas- "NY State of Mind"

“Lets be real though; it definitely reclaimed hip-hop’s mantle for New York and staked a defiant claim after the West Coast redefined the genre with it’s gangsta poetics and choruses of crack tales.  But “N.Y State of Mind” is also bigger than that because Nas didn’t just describe a world, he laid out a worldview so that “N.Y State of Mind” is not just hip-hop’s official anthem-no diss to Flash’s “The Message,” Public Enemy’s “Fight The Power” or Wu Tang Clan’s “C.R.E.AM.”  It’s also that global clarion call to prayer for hip-hop’s believers worldwide because it’s a chilling track that harrowingly describes and imagines with such surreal imagery, with so much noir discontent and eve more dwellers, shantytown residents and war-torn refugee camp denzines of a new world order fraught with defiance and dread.  That dread, so ambiently woven through “N.Y state of Mind makes the song a kind of message in the bottle sent down the ether for all those who heed its warnings, britlliaintely would become in a deeply interconnected global economy.  In fact, with Illmatic, Nas married sound with geography, making Illmatic in essence a sonic map. “(“N.Y State of Mind”-Sohail Daulatzai- “Born To Use Mics on Nas’ Illmatic)“Lets be real though; it definitely reclaimed hip-hop’s mantle for New York and staked a defiant claim after the West Coast redefined the genre with it’s gangsta poetics and choruses of crack tales.  But “N.Y State of Mind” is also bigger than that because Nas didn’t just describe a world, he laid out a worldview so that “N.Y State of Mind” is not just hip-hop’s official anthem-no diss to Flash’s “The Message,” Public Enemy’s “Fight The Power” or Wu Tang Clan’s “C.R.E.AM.”  It’s also that global clarion call to prayer for hip-hop’s believers worldwide because it’s a chilling track that harrowingly describes and imagines with such surreal imagery, with so much noir discontent and eve more dwellers, shantytown residents and war-torn refugee camp denzines of a new world order fraught with defiance and dread.  That dread, so ambiently woven through “N.Y state of Mind makes the song a kind of message in the bottle sent down the ether for all those who heed its warnings, britlliaintely would become in a deeply interconnected global economy.  In fact, with Illmatic, Nas married sound with geography, making Illmatic in essence a sonic map. “(“N.Y State of Mind”-Sohail Daulatzai- “Born To Use Mics on Nas’ Illmatic)

01. Enitan Bereola on Interacial Dating

If it weren’t for interracial relationships, John McCain would be President.

Imagine driving across a bridge only to find the construction incomplete. Imagine a large gap splitting the bridge in half preventing anyone from progressing forward. Your only options are staying on your side of the bridge, or falling in the gap.

Millions of Black American women are taking the plunge. They either stick with Black or fall in the gap, and the gap is full of unhappily single ladies. Seventy percent of Black women are unmarried. In a March article in Essencemagazine, three-time Grammy Award-winning artist, Jill Scott wrote about her discreet distaste for interracial dating. She compares a handsome, intelligent and seemingly wealthy Black man married to a White woman, to the sting of a quiet mosquito under a summer dress. Ms. Scott stands firmly in her position that she, and many Black women “wince” at the sight of “one of their own” dating a White woman. She credits her disposition to the African-American slavery story in America.

That’s understandable. It’s important to remember where you came from in order to know where you’re going. But focusing on a negative pain and suffering associated with a historical past will surely prevent progression.

This is my response: Black women, you are beautiful. You are like fine wine–beautiful body, natural tones and a taste that makes the lips jealous of the tongue with a trip to ecstasy that justifies the affair. And like wine, you get better with age. But this is just my excerpt from the dissertation of loving a Black woman; this isn’t every Black man’s experience.

Some Black men believe that dating any race exclusively sets major limitations. Picking a mate is one of the most important decisions any of us will ever make. It’s how our names, family traditions, and culture will continue to exist on this earth long after we are all dead and gone. A Black man dating outside of his race isn’t always credited to self hatred; often it’s not that deep at all. It’s simply about preference. If you find it acceptable to use religion, education, class, and common interests as criteria in deciding whom to date/not date, why can’t race be just one more criterion to the preference?

There also seems to be a double standard. When Reggie Bush, who dated Kim Kardashian, is featured on Black magazine covers, hundreds of thousands of Black women are outraged and boycott the magazine. But when Paula Patton, married to Robin Thicke, is featured in movies, millions of Black women run to the box offices in support. One, a Black man, the other, a Black woman, but both choose to love interracially.

Black women, this is for you: I understand your frustrations. It must be difficult to feel like you’ve arrived but don’t have a strong Black man to come home to. You’ve prepared yourself with degrees, beauty and intellect, but have no one to share it with. Nothing is concrete about love and there’s no easy solution for something so complex. I’m merely facilitating a new conversation for an old topic. But I can say this: You deserve the best and God grants us the desires of our heart. I’ve grown up around Black women all my life and I can’t imagine what it must be like to feel like you’re missing a soul mate. If you feel like there’s a shortage of Black men, then maybe it’s time to try something new. Open yourself up to new environments and new social circles. You never know what God can bring into your life when you’re open. Exude positivity, love and respect for all men, and watch what happens.

It’s odd to be mad at someone you don’t know for dating interracially. She didn’t steal your man. He wasn’t yours to begin with and being Black doesn’t give you entitlement. Stop sucking your teeth, rolling your eyes, and disrespecting the non-Black lady who dates a Black man. It only displays to her that you’re jealous, bitter and shows her that “she won.” None of which is true, but your emotions alter how you are perceived. Your anger needs to be redistributed and recycled. Don’t be mad at the lady of a different background; be frustrated with the current state of Black men as a whole. It’s a shame you don’t have a larger pool of straight, intelligent, attractive and successful gentlemen to date in the first place. The conversation has changed, let’s talk about that.

It’s easy to be frustrated, but challenge yourself to understand our intent. We are motivated by love. When you understand that a Black man dating outside of his race isn’t to spite you, abandon you, or betray you, maybe then will that mosquito bite sting Jill Scott referenced, stop the burning under your summer dress.

Black men, this is for you: Step it up.  Human beings aren’t status symbols and trophies are usually plastic. Remove the notion that dating a certain race will contribute to your status. To call Black women loud, obnoxious, superficial and gold-digging is to call your mother the same. We have a responsibility to ourselves and to our culture to love, support and consistently lift Black women up. We need them and they need us. But you don’t have to date one to love one. Dating interracially is a right of yours, but you have no right to disrespect your own race in the process. It’s completely ignorant to generalize all Black women based on some bad experiences. If your preference isn’t Black, you’re entitled to that. The excuse that we can’t find a Black lady on our level is dead. There are 1.8 million more Black women than Black men and certainly more successful Black women than us. Yes, we have a large pool of quality women to select from but don’t allow these staggering statistics dictate how you treat them. Being a player is played and disrespect went out of style with braids. Keep it Bereolaesque.

When we divide our social experiences, we divide our souls. God created us as all as His children. We are the ones who put divisions upon ourselves. There are no pages in The Bible condemning interracial dating, and no statutes in the laws either–it’s all in the mind. Dating is a choice and interracial dating is a part of a natural progression. This is what heaven looks like, ladies and gentlemen. It hurts to fall in the gap so let’s work toward bridging the gap. Forward progression is sexy. Live and let others live. Let’s get into that!

Pleasantries. 

He's the only reason I'm still with Twitter, follow him @Bereolaesque